Galadriel's Shot
by ElisiansBane
Summary: When the elf queen gets glowy green. Haldir reveals a secret to Frodo.


Hello, Happy People! I was watching the Fellowship of the Ring for the 80 bajillionth time and this idea popped into my head. Hope you like it.

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Galadriel's pupils dilated as she stared at the ring Frodo held out to her. "You would give it to me so freely?"  
She asked, "I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired this!" Her hand slowly reached for the infamous jewelry, her fingers twitching. Frodo gulped as her hand drew nearer.

"In the place of a dark lord, you shall have a QUEEN!" she yelled suddenly growing three feet taller and becoming all freaky and greenish gray. "Terrible and beautiful!" she shrieked, "All shall love me and despair!"

Frodo jumped back in fear and started running for the woods. "HELP! SOMEBODY, HEEEELLLLPPP!!!!" He didn't look where he was going and crashed into a tall figure. "Hey! What's going on, ringbearer?" asked the figure. It was Haldir the marchwarden.

"Oh, Master Haldir! Thank goodness it's you! It's Lady Galadriel, she's lost her marbles!" Frodo breathed a sigh of relief. Haldir only frowned. "You didn't try to offer her anything, did you?" He raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow in suspicion.

"Well..." He replied meekly. "I did try to give her the ring. I'm sorry!"

"Oh. Well, then..."Haldir walked back to the clearing where Galadriel had been ranting and screaming about world conquest, and how she was going to make her minions pay ridiculously high taxes.

Frodo watched worriedly as Haldir calmly walked over to a tree, opened a secret compartment to reveal a white box. He took out a pair of Latex gloves, a small stone cube, bottles of something, and a syringe.

"AND I WILL MAKE EVERYONE WORK IN SWEATSHOPS FOR LONG HOURS AND UNBELIEVABLY LOW SALARIES!" Galadriel screeched, "WHILE I BATHE IN GOAT MILK!" She had now turned from lime green to a greenish blue.

Frodo continued to glance between Galadriel and Haldir as the Marchwarden mixed together weird looking liquids and poured them into the container thingy of the syringe.

"Um, Haldir? What are you doing?"

"You just had to offer her the ring, didn't you?"

"Gimme a break! I never wanted to come on this stupid trip anyway!" Frodo whined.

"Well, you did." The elf said with no sympathy, and with his gloved hands sharpened the syringe on the stone cube and put on a surgeon's mask and walked up to the still ranting Lady of Light.

"Now, now my lady. You must calm down at once." He cooed. Galadriel only screamed louder. "HOW DARE YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO, MARCHWARDEN?!?!? I AM GALADRIEL, QUEEN OF ARDA!"

"Of course you are, my lady." He said soothingly. "Now hold still please." With that he grabbed her forearm and jabbed the needle into her bicep. "That should do the trick."

Immediately Galadriel let out a final squeal and collapsed on to the ground, unconscious. Frodo just stared wide eyed. "What did you do to her?!"

"I just gave her a sedative, it's not the first time this happened." Haldir threw the used syringe into a bio-hazard waste basket located under the Mirror of Galadriel. "This is actually the third time this month."

"What?"

"Oh, didn't Aragorn tell you? Galadriel has a rare type of schizophrenia, whenever she's offered something unusual she gets the idea it's going to make her all-powerful, or something like that. You should have seen Galadriel when Arwen asked her to keep her necklace while she went swimming. She thought the Evenstar would  
give her the ability to fly 'like an eagle'. And then she started to sing. It was actually rather funny."

"I-I'm sorry, Haldir. I didn't know-." Frodo started but Haldir waved him off.

"You're definitely not the first. But remember when I told you about bringing great evil with you?

"Oh..."

"Say, Frodo? Would you like to join me for a drink? it's rare Dorwinian, I bet you'd like it."

"Sure!" Frodo exclaimed. "But, what about Galadriel?" Haldir waved his hand dismissively. "Don't worry, she'll be up and back to her nosy self in a few minutes. You coming or not?"

The two walked away chatting about wines and the best way to enjoy them.

Meanwhile Galadriel awoke with a snort and looked around groggily. "Hey, what'd I miss?"

THE END.

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Well, did you like it? I hope so. I apologize to the Galadriel fans and if I missed any lines from the movie at the beginning. Read and review, please be nice!


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